The Galley Chronicles: TSA

5 day trip.

Day 1: Charlotte - Savannah.

Day 2: Savannah - Charlotte - Norfolk - Charlotte - Pittsburgh - Charlotte - Myrtle Beach.

Day 3: Myrtle Beach - Charlotte - Austin.

Day 4: Austin - Phoenix - Memphis - Charlotte - Harrisburg.

Day 5: Harrisburg - Charlotte.

I’m typing this 37,000 feet up, deadheading on a flight from Phoenix to Memphis. Forgive the grammar, spelling, punctuation, rambling, and randomness. This morning I worked a flight from Austin to Phoenix, and had a 3AM wake-up call. I’ve been having a lot of 2AM and 3AM wake-up calls lately, which I’m not a fan of, especially when I have to commute an hour and a half to Charlotte, to work a 5AM reserve shift. After this deadhead, I work a flight from Memphis to Charlotte, and finally Charlotte to Harrisburg, PA, where I’m staying for the night. I’ve actually never been to Harrisburg, or Memphis for that matter, so it’s good to mark another place off of the map. I’m just ready to head home for the holidays. I’m on day 4 of a 5 day trip. Spending Christmas Eve with the family will be great, and the 23^rd will by my only day to Christmas shop (and do laundry for that matter,) but working at 5AM on Christmas morning isn’t the ideal situation. Oh well, at least the pay is better that day.

With all of the recent news that is coming out of the new TSA procedures, I should at the least throw in my two cents. This post is a little late, and the issue has died down for the most part, but as a crew member, it’s still worth mentioning. Now as a crew member, I’m still subject to all of the rules any airline passenger has when it comes to TSA restrictions. There are a few differences, however. At most places, crew members can go to the front of the line. This isn’t to cut in front of passengers or be rude, but simply so that the planes go out on time. Air crews do this on a daily basis, and have to be at the aircraft to pre-flight earlier than passengers have to be there, just to board. Also, flight crews don’t check baggage, due to the fact that we sometimes have to change aircraft several times a day. We can be on trips for up to six days at a time. Because of this, we have to pack six days worth of clothes, toiletries, and food onto our carry-on luggage. Sometimes, like yesterday, we can do up to seven flights in a day, starting before most places open for breakfast, and going through the evening, without having an opportunity to stop for lunch. We aren’t subject to the three ounce rule as most people are, however, we must be in uniform, and displaying our crew badges.

Now, all that being said, we still have to go through the lines, still have to take off our shoes, still have to take off our jackets, and place our laptops in a separate bin, empty our pockets, and go through the metal detector. It’s still a pain in the ass. Until recently, we had to go through the new backscatter body scanners. I’m not a fan of these, but I do think they are effective. I had to go through one once, and still had to get the pat down, which was very invasive and unpleasant, in front of everyone, because of an “anomaly” in my front pocket (my chapstick.) So yeah, they do catch everything. I’m a big supporter of crew pass because of this. Flight crews have undergone extensive background checks, and shouldn’t be subject to TSA checkpoints. I’ve seen pilot lines at a few airports, that bypass TSA, but this needs to be expanded to flight attendants as well. This is rather insulting in my opinion, as we’re subject to the same background checks as pilots.

Now, whether or not you agree with these regulations, or whether or not you feel they are a violation on your 4^th amendment rights (it isn’t, you’re a customer of the airline, and don’t have a “right” per-say in the constitution to fly, it’s a business,) it doesn’t give you the right to be a dick to TSA employees “just doing their job.” That is in quotations because I’ve heard the argument that Hitler’s henchmen were “just doing their jobs” as well, when it comes to the TSA. Please don’t Godwin this argument. I’ve been on the employee bus with TSA agents plenty of times and have overheard conversations. They have supervisors breathing down their neck constantly, and even they think it’s ridiculous to make you throw away your toothpaste too. The point is, TSA doesn’t let stuff slide--they can't. Every TSA agent knows that’s water in grandma’s water bottle, not a deadly neurotoxin, but if an agent just lets it through, and grandma turns out to be a homeland security undercover agent, or even a supervisor undercover, that TSA agent could be fired or fined. Even with all of the complaining, the second something happens, TSA will be the first to blame, and you can forget bringing a laptop on board ever again. Now still, do I think some of it is just security theater? Yes. Having my employee crew badge checked with infrared light, or looking at my I.D. with a magnifying glass at some stations is just that, but oh well.

There’s a video of a guy in San Diego, the “if you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested” guy. Here, He has self important douche-nozzle written all over him. Look, TSA agents don’t like being called perverts and pedophiles on a daily basis. TSA agents don’t wake up in the morning and think to themselves, “ooh, I get to feel up grandma today,” or little kids, etc. Whether or not you agree with the policies, just don’t be a dick to the agents. If you’re going to complain, complain to the ones who make the policies, not the TSA agents simply doing their jobs. Are there TSA agents who are jerks and cross the line? Yes, but the vast majority of them simply want to do their jobs to the best of their ability and get on with their day.

On a lighter note, here are some pictures from the past week's trip.