Sunday, January 23, 2011

Airport Bingo

With this job, I practically live in airports.  I spend a lot of my down time sitting in the terminal watching people go by, and silently judging them.  Making airport bingo was the next logical step.  Also available in PDF form.  Click on the image below to download and print.  Be sure to shrink to fit in your print options.


As a bonus, I've also got an in-flight checklist, which I'll probably be making into a bingo chart soon.
  • Person who gets up to use the bathroom and gets trapped by flight attendant service carts.
  • Someone too cool to take off their giant headphones and sunglasses the entire flight.
  • “I have a tight connection, tell the pilot to radio and tell them to hold my next flight.”
  • Variation of this conversation:  “What do you mean my bag won’t fit?  It fit last flight.”  “Where did you come from?”  Hong Kong.”  “That was a 777, this is a regional jet.”
  • Flight attendant who seems to not enjoy job, or goes through the motions with demos/announcements
  • Someone saying “I’ll never fly this airline again…”  because of a weather delay, or some other delay that obviously has nothing to do with the airline
  • Over-enthusiastic flight attendant
  • Rude passenger
  • Pilot or flight attendant trying to be funny with Blackberry or iPod jokes “Turn off Blackberries, blueberries, any other berry…”
  • Pilot uses the phrase “flow control”
  • Count the number of times the pilot uses the words “um,” “seatbelts,” and “folks.”

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Crew Tracking (EDITED)

Location:  Smelly Cat Coffeehouse, NoDa District, Charlotte, NC.

My love-hate relationship with crew tracking continues.  After my favor to them of doing an overnight and being at the airport during my time off because they were understaffed due to a snowstorm, crew tracking has returned the favor by giving me a 4:30AM show time for a flight, followed by working the 7PM-Midnight tonight.  Yes, that's a 20.5 hour day.  On a related note, I've become an expert at sleeping in my car in the employee lot.  (EDIT:  my 20.5 hour day turned into a 24 hour work day.  I ended up working a Charlotte -> Birmingham -> Charlotte -> Louisville trip that was delayed over 4 hours, so I got to the hotel after 3AM.)

The flight this morning was great.  The moon was full and bright, and the flight was empty.  I was able to stare out the window and look at the towns below go by this morning, and have breakfast at 20,000 feet.

I've been doing a lot of mainline deadheads lately, on different airlines.  I love these.  I fly as a passenger, stay in a hotel, and work one flight back.  Last week, during the snow storm, I flew an empty flight, zero passengers, to Austin, from Raleigh-Durham.  Shutting all the window shades, turning out all the cabin lights, and chilling on an empty plane is very relaxing when it's dark and there are no passengers.  Even better, they closed CLT for two days, and I was stuck in the hotel in sunny south Texas, for two days, while a snow storm was ravaging the east coast.

Seems like I had more to post, but nothing exciting has happened since the last post.  More of the same I guess.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Look Out for Deer

Location:  Panera Bread, Rock Hill, SC.
Today's flights:  Charlotte -> Wilmington, NC -> Charlotte -> Charleston, SC overnight.  These are all short, non-service flights.

I just noticed my uniform is covered in cat hair.  Black uniform, white cat.  Speaking of animals, my drive to work in the morning is an hour and a half long.  I leave at 3AM if I have a 5AM ready reserve shift, and 4AM if I have the 5AM regular reserve shift.  This morning, regular reserve starts at 9:15.  I have an hour and a half to be at the airport.  It's almost 10, so I'm hanging out in Charlotte unless they call me in, or until my flights begin at around 4PM.  Anyhow, for about the first two-thirds of the drive, from Camden to Rock Hill, it's all back roads, until I hit I-77.  At 3AM, it's an interesting drive.  For a good 10 mile stretch of the drive, I am driving through curvy, tree covered canopy, dark highway.  There aren't houses or even a single light for miles.  I see more animals than cars until I hit the interstate, and I see at least 3 deer every drive, without question.  Usually around 10 or so show up and cause me to swerve and slam on brakes.  Today was no exception, even with daylight.

I had New Year's Eve off, but had ready reserve at 5AM, New Year's Day.  That killed any type of partying I would have had, and there was a crowd at the house.  I popped a melatonin and passed out around mid-afternoon.  The alarm went off at 11:30PM, so I could ring in the new year, and stay up.  So I did.  It was fun being the only sober person in at least a 10 mile radius.  I got to wake up and hang out in the neighbor's teepee (long story) to what felt like morning to me, while everyone else was settling into a drunken stupor, and eventual hangover.  Knowing I would encounter drunk drivers on my commute to work, I hit the road an hour early, at 2AM, to head to work.

Sure enough, about 45 minutes into my drive, I'm winding through that stretch of SC-97 that's absolutely desolate.  It's dark, very dark, and nothing is around for miles, not even a light off in the woods.  Something catches my eye off the road.  An SUV was off the side of the road, totaled, and upside down.  What made it an eerie sight is the the lights were still on, and there were no emergency vehicles present.  It was obvious that I was the first on the scene.  I pulled up to the wreck, fully expecting to find a dead body, or more, inside the car.  I poked my head inside, and not knowing what else to say, said, "hello?"  There was a woman inside, for the most part, unhurt, but pinned underneath.  After making sure she was calm and lucid, and wouldn't go into shock, I told her I had to drive about 2 miles up the road to call 911, as there was no signal where I was.  About a half mile up the road, going over 100MPH, I noticed a man walking in the middle of the road, trying to flag me down, but holding his arm.  He was covered in blood.  He was involved in the wreck, and had lost both cell phones in the process.  Considering I found the alternator down the road, I can believe it.  The man was walking for help, holding his arm (a compound fracture,) in complete darkness.  No moon, no streetlights, no ambient lights from a nearby city--nothing.  By this time I was able to get a hold of 911, so I drove him back to the scene.  I stayed with the two, keeping them warm, and talking to them to keep them from going into shock.  A asked the woman a ton of random questions, since she said all she wanted to do was go to sleep.  I couldn't let this happen.  Then the man started grabbing his chest, telling me he had a bad heart.  It took about 15 minutes for the first responders to arrive.  Finally the jaws of life were able to cut her out.  Her husband was already at the hospital by this time.  I gave my statement to the police, and went on my way.  That, obviously, was the most exciting part of my day.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Year, New Me (Ugh, that sounds like a Weight Watchers slogan)

Location:  Earth Fare, Charlotte, NC.  Regular reserve until 5:30PM, despite coming off of a trip this morning.

So on December 31st, I made it a point to sit down with Jessica and come up with some resolutions for the new year.  I've decided to focus on my overall health and well being as this year's main goal.  Both my emotional and physical health.  For the past 4 years I taught middle and high school band.  I loved teaching, and hope to substitute teach band on my days off soon.  I didn't leave that profession because I hated teaching, I didn't like that fact that this job was mostly about managing poor behavior, and dealing with that bullshit--I just wanted to teach.  Speaking of bullshit, the main reason I left teaching was school administrations ruining my programs, micromanaging, and coddling these kids.  I was required to go against my philosophy and teach to the test.  I could write a book, but in short, school administrators made my life a living hell.  Because of the fact that I was so unhappy with my job, all I did was stress eat, kill my body, and spiral into depression.  I managed to gain quite a bit of weight, my blood pressure went through the roof (enough to have to go on medication for, which I am off of now, imagine that,) and my cholesterol level, according to my doctor, "sucked."  This all led to fatigue, constant headaches, lack of motivation, and almost having to go on anti-depressants.  Thankfully now, I love my new job, despite not even making half of what I made before.  2011 is all about getting the old me back, both mentally and physically, and I believe I am well on my way.  So I broke my resolutions down into several catergories:


Food:
  • Be conscious of salt content.  Salt is one of the biggest causes of high blood pressure.
  • Read labels for saturated fat, salt content, and MSG.  Reading labels can help you avoid hidden toxins in food better.
  • More fresh, raw fruits and vegetables.  Self explanatory, especially the detox foods, and superfoods.
  • Smaller portions.  Slow down and enjoy everything you eat, and don't rush it, especially when you cook for yourself.
  • No food after 7:30PM, unless getting in late from a flight.  Late night eating is one of the biggest causes of a big belly.
  • Cook more.  This isn't easy with this job, but I can make it work.
  • Plan ahead meals more.  This will help in avoiding having to buy airport food.  See below.
  • Limit airport food.  Pasteurized, processed, egg-like emulsions are not what's for breakfast.
  • No aspartame.  This stuff will kill you.
  • Quit eating junk food around the parents’ house.  Dad is notorious for keeping huge bowls of M&Ms around the house, and I am notorious for eating them.

Exercise:
  • Pants size, at least 32 by this summer.  I'm almost a 38.  Hell.  And I was a 32 in college.
  • Run a 5K by the end of the year.  Thanks Jessica for the goal!
  • 150 miles on DailyMile.  Great website I was introduced to.  Again, thanks Jessica!
  • Use the hotel gyms more.  I'm sore today from last night's run.  Feels great.
  • More pushups and situps.  Hundredpushups.com is another site I've been told I need to check out by you know who.
  • Take my shirt off at the beach this summer and impress chicks.  Self explanatory.
  • Get my college body back.  This WILL happen.

Money:
  • Be more conscious overall.  I don't make as much as I used to, but I'm okay with that.
  • Try to save more.
  • Pay off credit card.  I'm almost done with this actually.
  • Go out to eat less.  HUGE money waster.
  • Continue paying car and student loan bills on time.  I've been pretty good about this.
  • Get an iPod touch and a pair of headphones I can run in.  Running by myself is boring.  I need to replace my iPod that one of my wonderful students stole during the last week of school.

Miscellaneous:
  • No more laptop in bed.  Studies show it leads to insomnia.  NetFlix is my weakness in bed.
  • Visit all 50 states.  7 more to go!  Alaska, Hawai'i, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wyoming, and New Mexico, bring it!
  • Procrastinate less, be more productive.  Self explanatory.
  • Practice my trumpet more.  I'm getting a little rusty.