O'Hare

My flight to Chicago was on time today, and it appears my flight out will be as well.  That's good news and bad news.  The good news is that I'll hopefully be in bed by midnight.  The bad news is that I lost the bet that I wouldn't be able to make it here and owe people money.  I've got some pictures from in the air, as well as some LAX photos from my last non-rev adventure last weekend to post for my next post.

Side note:  The Chicago crew room is HORRIBLE.
Another side note:  I'm being paid for four hours for a 13 hour day due to long layovers and all but one of my flights were deadheads.  I'd still rather do this than teach.

Airport Bingo

With this job, I practically live in airports.  I spend a lot of my down time sitting in the terminal watching people go by, and silently judging them.  Making airport bingo was the next logical step.  Also available in PDF form.  Click on the image below to download and print.  Be sure to shrink to fit in your print options.

As a bonus, I've also got an in-flight checklist, which I'll probably be making into a bingo chart soon.

• Person who gets up to use the bathroom and gets trapped by flight attendant service carts.
• Someone too cool to take off their giant headphones and sunglasses the entire flight.
• “I have a tight connection, tell the pilot to radio and tell them to hold my next flight.”
• Variation of this conversation:  “What do you mean my bag won’t fit?  It fit last flight.”  “Where did you come from?”  “Hong Kong.”  “That was a 777, this is a regional jet.”
• Flight attendant who seems to not enjoy job, or goes through the motions with demos/announcements
• Someone saying “I’ll never fly this airline again…”  because of a weather delay, or some other delay that obviously has nothing to do with the airline
• Over-enthusiastic flight attendant
• Rude passenger
• Pilot or flight attendant trying to be funny with Blackberry or iPod jokes “Turn off Blackberries, blueberries, any other berry…”
• Pilot uses the phrase “flow control”
• Count the number of times the pilot uses the words “um,” “seatbelts,” and “folks.”

Crew Tracking (EDITED)

Location:  Smelly Cat Coffeehouse, NoDa District, Charlotte, NC.

My love-hate relationship with crew tracking continues.  After my favor to them of doing an overnight and being at the airport during my time off because they were understaffed due to a snowstorm, crew tracking has returned the favor by giving me a 4:30AM show time for a flight, followed by working the 7PM-Midnight tonight.  Yes, that's a 20.5 hour day.  On a related note, I've become an expert at sleeping in my car in the employee lot.  (EDIT:  my 20.5 hour day turned into a 24 hour work day.  I ended up working a Charlotte -> Birmingham -> Charlotte -> Louisville trip that was delayed over 4 hours, so I got to the hotel after 3AM.)

The flight this morning was great.  The moon was full and bright, and the flight was empty.  I was able to stare out the window and look at the towns below go by this morning, and have breakfast at 20,000 feet.

I've been doing a lot of mainline deadheads lately, on different airlines.  I love these.  I fly as a passenger, stay in a hotel, and work one flight back.  Last week, during the snow storm, I flew an empty flight, zero passengers, to Austin, from Raleigh-Durham.  Shutting all the window shades, turning out all the cabin lights, and chilling on an empty plane is very relaxing when it's dark and there are no passengers.  Even better, they closed CLT for two days, and I was stuck in the hotel in sunny south Texas, for two days, while a snow storm was ravaging the east coast.

Seems like I had more to post, but nothing exciting has happened since the last post.  More of the same I guess.

Look Out for Deer

Location:  Panera Bread, Rock Hill, SC.
Today's flights:  Charlotte -> Wilmington, NC -> Charlotte -> Charleston, SC overnight.  These are all short, non-service flights.

I just noticed my uniform is covered in cat hair.  Black uniform, white cat.  Speaking of animals, my drive to work in the morning is an hour and a half long.  I leave at 3AM if I have a 5AM ready reserve shift, and 4AM if I have the 5AM regular reserve shift.  This morning, regular reserve starts at 9:15.  I have an hour and a half to be at the airport.  It's almost 10, so I'm hanging out in Charlotte unless they call me in, or until my flights begin at around 4PM.  Anyhow, for about the first two-thirds of the drive, from Camden to Rock Hill, it's all back roads, until I hit I-77.  At 3AM, it's an interesting drive.  For a good 10 mile stretch of the drive, I am driving through curvy, tree covered canopy, dark highway.  There aren't houses or even a single light for miles.  I see more animals than cars until I hit the interstate, and I see at least 3 deer every drive, without question.  Usually around 10 or so show up and cause me to swerve and slam on brakes.  Today was no exception, even with daylight.

I had New Year's Eve off, but had ready reserve at 5AM, New Year's Day.  That killed any type of partying I would have had, and there was a crowd at the house.  I popped a melatonin and passed out around mid-afternoon.  The alarm went off at 11:30PM, so I could ring in the new year, and stay up.  So I did.  It was fun being the only sober person in at least a 10 mile radius.  I got to wake up and hang out in the neighbor's teepee (long story) to what felt like morning to me, while everyone else was settling into a drunken stupor, and eventual hangover.  Knowing I would encounter drunk drivers on my commute to work, I hit the road an hour early, at 2AM, to head to work.

Sure enough, about 45 minutes into my drive, I'm winding through that stretch of SC-97 that's absolutely desolate.  It's dark, very dark, and nothing is around for miles, not even a light off in the woods.  Something catches my eye off the road.  An SUV was off the side of the road, totaled, and upside down.  What made it an eerie sight is the the lights were still on, and there were no emergency vehicles present.  It was obvious that I was the first on the scene.  I pulled up to the wreck, fully expecting to find a dead body, or more, inside the car.  I poked my head inside, and not knowing what else to say, said, "hello?"  There was a woman inside, for the most part, unhurt, but pinned underneath.  After making sure she was calm and lucid, and wouldn't go into shock, I told her I had to drive about 2 miles up the road to call 911, as there was no signal where I was.  About a half mile up the road, going over 100MPH, I noticed a man walking in the middle of the road, trying to flag me down, but holding his arm.  He was covered in blood.  He was involved in the wreck, and had lost both cell phones in the process.  Considering I found the alternator down the road, I can believe it.  The man was walking for help, holding his arm (a compound fracture,) in complete darkness.  No moon, no streetlights, no ambient lights from a nearby city--nothing.  By this time I was able to get a hold of 911, so I drove him back to the scene.  I stayed with the two, keeping them warm, and talking to them to keep them from going into shock.  A asked the woman a ton of random questions, since she said all she wanted to do was go to sleep.  I couldn't let this happen.  Then the man started grabbing his chest, telling me he had a bad heart.  It took about 15 minutes for the first responders to arrive.  Finally the jaws of life were able to cut her out.  Her husband was already at the hospital by this time.  I gave my statement to the police, and went on my way.  That, obviously, was the most exciting part of my day.

New Year, New Me (Ugh, that sounds like a Weight Watchers slogan)

Location:  Earth Fare, Charlotte, NC.  Regular reserve until 5:30PM, despite coming off of a trip this morning.

So on December 31st, I made it a point to sit down with Jessica and come up with some resolutions for the new year.  I've decided to focus on my overall health and well being as this year's main goal.  Both my emotional and physical health.  For the past 4 years I taught middle and high school band.  I loved teaching, and hope to substitute teach band on my days off soon.  I didn't leave that profession because I hated teaching, I didn't like that fact that this job was mostly about managing poor behavior, and dealing with that bullshit--I just wanted to teach.  Speaking of bullshit, the main reason I left teaching was school administrations ruining my programs, micromanaging, and coddling these kids.  I was required to go against my philosophy and teach to the test.  I could write a book, but in short, school administrators made my life a living hell.  Because of the fact that I was so unhappy with my job, all I did was stress eat, kill my body, and spiral into depression.  I managed to gain quite a bit of weight, my blood pressure went through the roof (enough to have to go on medication for, which I am off of now, imagine that,) and my cholesterol level, according to my doctor, "sucked."  This all led to fatigue, constant headaches, lack of motivation, and almost having to go on anti-depressants.  Thankfully now, I love my new job, despite not even making half of what I made before.  2011 is all about getting the old me back, both mentally and physically, and I believe I am well on my way.  So I broke my resolutions down into several catergories:

Food:

• Be conscious of salt content.  Salt is one of the biggest causes of high blood pressure.
• Read labels for saturated fat, salt content, and MSG.  Reading labels can help you avoid hidden toxins in food better.
• More fresh, raw fruits and vegetables.  Self explanatory, especially the detox foods, and superfoods.
• Smaller portions.  Slow down and enjoy everything you eat, and don't rush it, especially when you cook for yourself.
• No food after 7:30PM, unless getting in late from a flight.  Late night eating is one of the biggest causes of a big belly.
• Cook more.  This isn't easy with this job, but I can make it work.
• Plan ahead meals more.  This will help in avoiding having to buy airport food.  See below.
• Limit airport food.  Pasteurized, processed, egg-like emulsions are not what's for breakfast.
• No aspartame.  This stuff will kill you.
• Quit eating junk food around the parents’ house.  Dad is notorious for keeping huge bowls of M&Ms around the house, and I am notorious for eating them.

Exercise:

• Pants size, at least 32 by this summer.  I'm almost a 38.  Hell.  And I was a 32 in college.
• Run a 5K by the end of the year.  Thanks Jessica for the goal!
• 150 miles on DailyMile.  Great website I was introduced to.  Again, thanks Jessica!
• Use the hotel gyms more.  I'm sore today from last night's run.  Feels great.
• More pushups and situps.  Hundredpushups.com is another site I've been told I need to check out by you know who.
• Take my shirt off at the beach this summer and impress chicks.  Self explanatory.
• Get my college body back.  This WILL happen.

Money:

• Be more conscious overall.  I don't make as much as I used to, but I'm okay with that.
• Try to save more.
• Pay off credit card.  I'm almost done with this actually.
• Go out to eat less.  HUGE money waster.
• Continue paying car and student loan bills on time.  I've been pretty good about this.
• Get an iPod touch and a pair of headphones I can run in.  Running by myself is boring.  I need to replace my iPod that one of my wonderful students stole during the last week of school.

Miscellaneous:

• No more laptop in bed.  Studies show it leads to insomnia.  NetFlix is my weakness in bed.
• Visit all 50 states.  7 more to go!  Alaska, Hawai'i, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wyoming, and New Mexico, bring it!
• Procrastinate less, be more productive.  Self explanatory.
• Practice my trumpet more.  I'm getting a little rusty.

Don't Bother

Writing this from airport appreciation session, 1900-2400.  Aka, ready reserve.

Don't bother going to the Northeast, or flying out of LGA, ORF, EWR, or JFK for about a week.  It's a mess.  All of my flights have been full lately, from passengers wanting to go from point A to point B, via points C, D, and Q, which have been my flights lately.  I had a passenger trying to get to Norfolk, via Richmond, from Charlotte.  He was planning on getting to Richmond and going from there.  Unless he goes back to Charlotte, or goes to Dulles or DCA from Richmond, the guy's out of luck.  I have friends that are stuck in LaGuardia, that were supposed to be back the day after Christmas.  They ran out of hotel money, and have now been living in the airport for a few days.  Welcome to my world.  Now the plan is to go from LGA to Charlotte, via Nashville.

What a boring, humorless, and dry post.  Sorry.

The Perpetual Head Cold

Today was an easy one.  I started out with reserve from 5AM to 2PM.  I lucked out, since usually it's 5AM to 5PM.  During the drive to work, my normal hour and a half drive was over two hours, due to heavy snowfall during the night.  It snowed during my entire drive.  The reason it took me so long is because South Carolina doesn't prepare for snow.  The roads were not salted ahead of time, nor were they plowed, so I had to take the interstate.  It adds about 30 miles to my drive, but those roads weren't any better.  If I tried to go over about 45 MPH most of the way, my tires would just spin out of control under the thick compacted snow.  I only managed to slide around three times, and slide off the road once, but that wasn't until I got to Charlotte.  During my drive to Charlotte, crew tracking called and changed my reserve to ready reserve, starting at 6:45AM, and being done at 2.  By the time I got to the crew room, and watched a couple episodes of Beavis and Butthead via NetFlix (I know, I'm 12,) and finally fell asleep for a nice long nap, crew tracking called again, and gave me a Kansas City turn.  The flight out got my hopes up, because the flight was very empty.  Empty long flights are the easiest thing in the world.  The flight coming back on the other hand, completely full.  Boo.

This morning I woke up with a scratchy throat.  Despite my denial, and begging to be acid reflux, I now have a full fledged head cold.  Also, despite my teaching public school (band) for the past four years, both high school and middle school, I haven't built up the immunity towards getting sick like I thought I should have.  I stay sick, and I don't know why.  It's the exact same strain of cold too.  Very scratchy throat, roof of mouth yuckiness (the best way to put it, if you've ever had the sensation,) stopped up nose, and lots of snot.  I felt really run down today too, probably because I am.  The cold lasts for about a week every time I get it.  I manage to get this cold every two weeks, but actually, the throat scratchiness never really goes away.  I've chalked that up to acid reflux, but even that I doubt.  This is quite odd to me, since I'm so careful about taking care of myself, as far as cold prevention goes, but obviously, since it's the same cold every time, I'm getting it from myself.  I get a new toothbrush every time, sterilize the PA receiver before every flight with alcohol, clean my Blackberry with alcohol pads often, drink EmergenC™ and Airborne™ on every flight, take zinc daily, and use Zicam™ every time I feel a cold coming on.  There's got to be something I'm forgetting.  I live out of the same suitcase, and wear the same uniform on a daily basis.  There's got to be something I'm forgetting that's making me perpetually sick.  Maybe it's the laptop?  Any ideas are welcome.

The Crew Room

I have a love-hate relationship with the crew room.  I love it the .001% of the time when I’m the only one in there.  I hate it most other times.  The crew room is loud, bright, small, hot in the summer, and cold in the winter.  It’s just as active as the rest of the airport, so if I’m sitting reserve and want peace and quiet; a place to gather my thoughts, I’m s.o.l.  I commute an hour and a half from the airport via car, so if I have a late night followed by an early morning, I’ll get a hotel in town for the night.  There have been times I’ve slept in the crew room if I’m the only one in it, which I don’t like to do.  Pilots are far more respectful than flight attendants when it comes to peace in quiet in there.  If there are three people asleep on the couch, the first flight attendant to walk in at 5AM will walk in, turn on all the lights without a second thought, just to use the computer; something which requires no light other than the monitor.  During the busy times of the day, there can be up to 20 people in a confined space; all on the phone, or having loud conversations with each other—something that they can go in the terminal to do.  95% of the conversations in the crew room are bitching about schedules on the flight attendant side, which is why I’m usually conversing with the pilots.  Far more to talk about with them.  I’m one of the few that believes that the crew room should be a place in the airport where one could go and relax and gather one’s thoughts.  One of the few things I enjoyed about being based in Washington-Dulles, was that most people respected the crew room as a quiet place, and there were always places in the airport that one could escape to any time during the day for some peace and quiet.  I’ve found myself having to pause my NetFlix on numerous occasions, while sitting reserve, because the loudness was drowning it out, even with my noise canceling headphones.  So for the love of sanity people, we understand that you’re super senior in the company, and love the social hour between flights in there, but some of us who don’t have lines yet and actually have to be in there during ready reserve daily from 5AM to 1PM generally, would like to maybe watch a movie, or perhaps even take a nap.  Shut your mouth or take it outside.

Oh, and I'm in here at 4:40AM on Christmas morning.  Not cool.

Non-Revenue Flights

As usual, forgive the rambling and grammar.  I'm in the crew room, and the guy next to me has been on the phone for well over an hour.  Go in the hall.  A big pet peeve of mine is noise in the crew room, especially those who are stuck in it with ready reserve.  Anyway.  Non-reving, as it’s called, is the best part of this job by far.  It’s also called jumpseating, although we don’t sit in the jumpseat in the flight deck (PC term for “cockpit,” I guess because the word “cock” is in it, which doesn’t offend University of South Carolina graduates, like me,) unless the flight is full.  Most airlines let us sit in the jumpseat if the flight is full as well.  Our jumpseat agreement means that we can fly for free, anywhere in the US, and anywhere else in the world, for a small fee, which is usually the international taxes.  We just have to display our badge to the gate agent, and if there’s an empty seat, we’re on it.  No prior listing, nothing.  Listing is another story, with the large carriers my regional airline flies for, we either call and list, or list online.  Listing tells us how many seats are available, and how many other non revenue crew members are already listed.  This is how I usually book my travel, if I don’t want to risk being stuck somewhere due to a full flight.  I occasionally jumpseat.  For instance, on my first 2 days off when I first started, I listed on some empty flights to go visit my parents overnight.  The first time I went on a little jumpseat excursion, was when I had three days off.  I was based in Washington-Dulles at the time, and had no idea where I wanted to go.  As far as hotels go, many hotels offer a very cheap fare, as well as rental cars.  Another great benefit.  Having three days off, I hopped on a Delta flight to Atlanta.  I didn’t have checked bags to worry about, so I could basically fly wherever I wanted.  I walked around the Atlanta airport, looking for flights that were ready to board and had open seats.  San Francisco and Los Angeles were all oversold, so I hopped on a flight to Seattle, on a whim.  In Seattle, I hopped on an Alaska Airlines flight to Los Angeles, where I already had a hotel by the airport booked.  The next day, I rented a car, and explored the city.

Los Angeles

Los Angeles

That night, I took the red-eye to Minneapolis-St. Paul, stayed the night, then hopped on the flight home to Washington-Reagan, and took the train/bus back to Dulles.

Minneapolis

I had four days off a few days ago, so I flew out to San Francisco, ate lunch at Fisherman’s Wharf, walked around the city for a while, and took an evening flight to Las Vegas.

From the SFO airtrain

Alcatraz

Daly City from BART

My view of Fisherman's Wharf and the Golden Gate whilst eating lunch

Sup?

I killed some time in the Vegas airport before hopping on the redeye back to Charlotte.  All this in a day.

Took the Nevada A310 from San Francisco to Vegas.

It’s exhausting, but if I have these benefits, I’m going to use them.  I spent my last days off meeting the parents of a lovely young lady.  I have Christmas Eve and the 23^rd off, but I’ll use them for shopping rather than traveling.  As for my next days off, I have no clue where I’ll be, but I hope to spend at least some of it with that lovely young lady again who is monopolizing my non-rev travel, but I don’t mind.  You know who you are.

TSA

5 day trip.

Day 1:  Charlotte - Savannah.

Day 2:  Savannah - Charlotte - Norfolk - Charlotte - Pittsburgh - Charlotte - Myrtle Beach.

Day 3:  Myrtle Beach - Charlotte - Austin.

Day 4:  Austin - Phoenix - Memphis - Charlotte - Harrisburg.

Day 5:  Harrisburg - Charlotte. 

I’m typing this 37,000 feet up, deadheading on a flight from Phoenix to Memphis.  Forgive the grammar, spelling, punctuation, rambling, and randomness.  This morning I worked a flight from Austin to Phoenix, and had a 3AM wake-up call.  I’ve been having a lot of 2AM and 3AM wake-up calls lately, which I’m not a fan of, especially when I have to commute an hour and a half to Charlotte, to work a 5AM reserve shift.  After this deadhead, I work a flight from Memphis to Charlotte, and finally Charlotte to Harrisburg, PA, where I’m staying for the night.  I’ve actually never been to Harrisburg, or Memphis for that matter, so it’s good to mark another place off of the map.  I’m just ready to head home for the holidays.  I’m on day 4 of a 5 day trip.  Spending Christmas Eve with the family will be great, and the 23^rd will by my only day to Christmas shop (and do laundry for that matter,) but working at 5AM on Christmas morning isn’t the ideal situation.  Oh well, at least the pay is better that day.

With all of the recent news that is coming out of the new TSA procedures, I should at the least throw in my two cents.  This post is a little late, and the issue has died down for the most part, but as a crew member, it’s still worth mentioning.  Now as a crew member, I’m still subject to all of the rules any airline passenger has when it comes to TSA restrictions.  There are a few differences, however.  At most places, crew members can go to the front of the line.  This isn’t to cut in front of passengers or be rude, but simply so that the planes go out on time.  Air crews do this on a daily basis, and have to be at the aircraft to pre-flight earlier than passengers have to be there, just to board.  Also, flight crews don’t check baggage, due to the fact that we sometimes have to change aircraft several times a day.  We can be on trips for up to six days at a time.  Because of this, we have to pack six days worth of clothes, toiletries, and food onto our carry-on luggage.  Sometimes, like yesterday, we can do up to seven flights in a day, starting before most places open for breakfast, and going through the evening, without having an opportunity to stop for lunch.  We aren’t subject to the three ounce rule as most people are, however, we must be in uniform, and displaying our crew badges.

Now, all that being said, we still have to go through the lines, still have to take off our shoes, still have to take off our jackets, and place our laptops in a separate bin, empty our pockets, and go through the metal detector.  It’s still a pain in the ass.  Until recently, we had to go through the new backscatter body scanners.  I’m not a fan of these, but I do think they are effective.  I had to go through one once, and still had to get the pat down, which was very invasive and unpleasant, in front of everyone, because of an “anomaly” in my front pocket (my chapstick.)  So yeah, they do catch everything.  I’m a big supporter of crew pass because of this.  Flight crews have undergone extensive background checks, and shouldn’t be subject to TSA checkpoints.  I’ve seen pilot lines at a few airports, that bypass TSA, but this needs to be expanded to flight attendants as well.  This is rather insulting in my opinion, as we’re subject to the same background checks as pilots.

Now, whether or not you agree with these regulations, or whether or not you feel they are a violation on your 4^th amendment rights (it isn’t, you’re a customer of the airline, and don’t have a “right” per-say in the constitution to fly, it’s a business,) it doesn’t give you the right to be a dick to TSA employees “just doing their job.”  That is in quotations because I’ve heard the argument that Hitler’s henchmen were “just doing their jobs” as well, when it comes to the TSA.  Please don’t Godwin this argument.  I’ve been on the employee bus with TSA agents plenty of times and have overheard conversations.  They have supervisors breathing down their neck constantly, and even they think it’s ridiculous to make you throw away your toothpaste too.  The point is, TSA doesn’t let stuff slide--they can't.  Every TSA agent knows that’s water in grandma’s water bottle, not a deadly neurotoxin, but if an agent just lets it through, and grandma turns out to be a homeland security undercover agent, or even a supervisor undercover, that TSA agent could be fired or fined.  Even with all of the complaining, the second something happens, TSA will be the first to blame, and you can forget bringing a laptop on board ever again.  Now still, do I think some of it is just security theater?  Yes.  Having my employee crew badge checked with infrared light, or looking at my I.D. with a magnifying glass at some stations is just that, but oh well.

There’s a video of a guy in San Diego, the “if you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested” guy.  Here,  He has self important douche-nozzle written all over him.  Look, TSA agents don’t like being called perverts and pedophiles on a daily basis.  TSA agents don’t wake up in the morning and think to themselves, “ooh, I get to feel up grandma today,” or little kids, etc.  Whether or not you agree with the policies, just don’t be a dick to the agents.  If you’re going to complain, complain to the ones who make the policies, not the TSA agents simply doing their jobs.  Are there TSA agents who are jerks and cross the line?  Yes, but the vast majority of them simply want to do their jobs to the best of their ability and get on with their day.

On a lighter note, here are some pictures from the past week's trip.

Southwest 737 de-icing in Pittsburgh

Tail de-icing action

View of Austin, Texas from our hotel

Austin skyline, 3 second exposure

I was lucky enough to have the back row open during the flight to Phoenix, so I could sit back, relax, and watch the sun rise over Mexico

That line you see in the middle of the picture is the US-Mexico border fence, El Paso, TX

Sunrise over Arizona

Morning view over Airzona

A.M. colors over Arizona

Approaching Phoenix

Airbus-A320 model at Sky Harbor

FedEx plane taxis in Phoenix

Holding pattern over MAJIC.  That's the morning fog below

My view from the lunch table this afternoon

Panthers A319

Santa at Charlotte-Douglas International Airport

Venus, from the air, over an exposure while moving